i liked this quote. it reminds me of my “be brave and be kind” mantra, i think this is a good way to evolve the idea…
today is my birthday. i am 31. i have a college degree in nothing that i am not using but am still paying for. i do not own a house. i am not contemplating my masters degree while i work my way to my next promotion. i have not lost all the weight i had hoped to, or mabye is expected of me to have lost post baby. i have no plane ticket to go somewhere awesome this or next year. i am just here.
what does here look like today? happiness. i am the kind of happy where you worry that things are too good to be true and that this has to be the good bit and the bad stuff is emenent. i am not happy ALL THE TIME, in fact i lose my shit just about daily and cry over something weekly but overall there is that life is good feeling. i feel none of that expectation listed above. what i do feel is a steady flow of great ideas and long term plans that come and go, waiting for timing and opportunity to meet up. will we expand the business? hopefully we will be so lucky in our venture. will we buy or build a house like you are supposed to, probably. more kids? maybe. who knows, i love the non commitment while being commited to the current plan. i am finding that it is the perfect balance of security and spontenaity for me.
so, here is what 30 year old me does know, listen up and take notes future self. what i do have are slow snuggles in the morning breastfeeding my babygirl. breakfast with Pidermans and kissing my 3 year old off to school. a slow cup of cafe con leche every day that makes it all worth it (maybe that is shallow but it is just that damn good my coffee). yoga in a tiny wooden attic. working with a hand picked crew of employees that i get to both teach and learn from about life, love, strife and this strange guatemalan business world. a few hours at lunchtime to be with my babies. slow evenings cooking, snuggling, singing, cleaning, decompressing. 6-8 hours of (broken but promising) sleep. a relationship that is far from perfect but growing all the time. friendships near and far that balance each other out. a life that is very slowly evolving in which most days i learn something about myself and others and often i am able to give back what i have taken in from my experience. to me, these are the important things. i feel the most content with the awarenss to know that today, in my first day of my 31st year, this is what makes me happy. my family, my work, my friends and being a part of these special connections. i am in this super special secret club that exsists of all the people close to me. we laugh, we cry, we fight, we learn, we forgive, we move through uncomfortable and inevitable tragedy into humbleness and eventually growth. when we come upon people who don´t fit in or understand we smile and say thanks for playing, have a nice day, carry on with your life and i will with mine.
so, “self help 30´s” as i have coined them, after our first year traveling together i tell you i am in! i love this stage, i hope to remember it as so and use this to give me strength in coming years. consider it documented.
Love and birthday hugs,
(Source: thepreppyyogini, via dailylovedose)